You are a ScrumMaster, you hate your team and you want to give back what they did to you? Try these 10 things and you will be overwhelmed by the success 😉
- Be unaccessible for the team. Is the team self-organizing or not?
- Ignore their impediments they will vanish by itself
- Always schedule the Scrum meetings at different time and location. Your team loves suprises.
- Don’t protect your team.They are adults and don‘t need a babysitter anymore.
- Schedule the Scrum meetings as early or as late as possible.
- Lead the daily scrum by asking each team member the 3 questions and take notes
- Keep asking the team members to do things which are not planned for the current sprint
- Ignore any ideas from your team during the retrospective. You know best what to improve next.
- Always tell the team members what task to do next
- Be late, always.
You want to have slides for these items? Here you are:
Any other ideas on how to torture your team? Let me know.